I packed up my desk today.
I took down my glass tenure apple. The pictures of my own kids in misshapen macaroni frames lining my work desk were taken down. Sun-faded gifts from my other kids, former students, hanging from file cabinets and chalkboards were carefully put away.
I turned in my keys to the job I’ve had as an English teacher for close to 10 years.
Tom and I talked and made lists of pros and cons, and then wavered some more, but ultimately we decided that I needed to continue on this path of creative entrepreneurship that began with this blog. It’s a whisper that’s slowly turned into a roar in my heart to pursue.
I’ve known for a while that I wasn’t going to join in the familiar back-to-school ritual in September, but I held onto the knowledge, keeping it to myself for a few weeks now. It’s still tender to voice out loud to the world. There’s a fear of failure. There’s fear of success. I’m a planner. I like to know what’s going to happen, and how I’m going to get there and exactly when, but this new heart-led path doesn’t have exact lines and rules to follow.
This uncertainty is new territory for me, but I know I have this chance that I may not be given again. I’m going to listen to the roar. I’m going to use it to shout back at my fears with a dose of bravado, grab this chance, and give it my everything because – how could I not?
When I look back in 5 years, 10 years, 20, I don’t want to wonder what I could have done if only I had the chance. Even more so, I don’t want to look back and know I had a chance and didn’t take it because I was afraid.
So, I’m doing it. I’m going to take this chance to pursue my creative passions. Connecting with other women and sharing ideas that make our messy, hectic, beautiful lives more peace-filled, more balanced, feels like home. I thrive on that feeling of energy and connecting and learning right along with you.
There is an emotion in my heart that I feel slightly more than fear. It’s excitement.
Thank you for being with me on this heart-led, sometimes bumpy, messy, thrilling ride.